“It’s a good thing you’re old or people would think you’re pregnant” | Susan J Roche underwater portrait photography

self portrait series in April

The comment was heard in July while sitting outside social distancing …

Judy, our host, looked into my eyes with horror to see how I would react.  Leaning back into the chair crossing my  legs, slowly lifting red wine from the Reidel stemmed crystal glass, I ignored the comment. 

John had joked about the larger stomach my man (who is a big child & thinks himself as a comedian) now had. I added, “men are fortunate, when they gain weight they can slide their pants lower while women need to purchase new clothes.”  

I did not condone the comment! 

At a later date it was discussed. I do not believe he will ever try to joke about my or any women’s post menopausal body again!  He told me, when he made this comment, his friend John looked at him in shock.

 Turned my image into a maternity portrait in April - black and white, original in center and a fast, quick edit to slender myself in photoshop -

I am pretty good in PS, always tell my clients not to worry

To be honest, during quarantine, my pregnant model was a self portrait and photoshop. I thought it was kind of funny in a horrible way.

My Body

So the last few years, my weight is something I have been aware of along with my stomach bloating. Doctors kept telling me, it was menopause. At 5’8” and broad shoulders, carrying the extra weight maybe a bit easier that someone someone petite.

Since turning fifty, my athletic, fit body changed.  At first, I embraced these new curves, it was kind of fun especially for someone who always has a strong build.  Then my feet began to hurt, prohibiting hiking, something I love. My podiatrist said my high arches are the culprit. Orthotics in my shoes help but the pain had to be managed.

Always enjoyed having long hair yet it has been was thinning for years. Now only growing to shoulder length. People think I cut my hair, it just stopped growing longer. Was it hormones, thyroid? The doctors said this was normal. 

My distended stomach really was bothering me

Not because of vanity, the nausea! It never went away unless I was eating - crackers, cookies or pretzels and ginger ale soda. My diet also included pizza, candy and ice cream - just loved Twizzlers and would hide that I ate the whole bag. I also ate avocado, salads, tried to eat healthy but the junk made me feel better. In the last nine years, the only successful weight loss I had was after Superstorm Sandy! It did not last.  Not matter what diet or fasting I did, no weight loss or physique change!

Three weeks ago I had enough of nausea, a quest began

Walking the dog, I ran in to a friend who suggested a book, by Amy Myers. My goal wasn’t about weight, to feel better. Read, on google books, that night the first book written in 2015, The Autoimmune Solution, prevent and reverse the full spectrum of inflammatory symptoms and diseases on my iPad. The next morning, my diet changed. The follow up, Thyroid Connection, was read next. In both books, symptoms I have been experiencing were recognized.

My food plan is vegetables - certain ones (no night shade), fruits, certain ones, meat, chicken, and seafood.  Sugar out, gluten out, dairy out along with tomatoes, nuts and potatoes.  The change in my diet began immediately, three weeks ago. My goal is to follow this diet for 28 days, maybe longer. Nausea motivated me. 

Sugar was the hard to not reach for but I really wanted to feel better. I considered ordered one of the vitamin kits then decided what I really needed was to see a doctor who I could trust. Then began cooking what I think is delicious, eating when my body wants something!

My neighbor and friend had mentioned a Functional MD, that she loved. Have to admit, I was not sure about the initial consultation fee and the costs of follow up visits, tests, etcetera. 

Then I realized I am worth taking care of. Just like purchasing beautiful artwork, clothing and lovely things for my home, my body is something I value.

Dr. Jessica Miller of Fusion Rehabilitative Medicine, Old Bridge, NJ, first availability was several weeks away yet I was willing to fill any cancelation when I called day four on a Monday morning. That afternoon I was offered to fill a spot Wednesday at 3 pm. By the time of my appointment, the way I was eating was helping. I did not feel great, just better. 

I loved Dr. Miller! This consult lasted two hours with my entire history, childhood, ways I have eaten during my life (a vegan in my forties - never want to limit my enjoyment of food that way again), surgeries, responses, weights, diets, emotions, and my entire life’s history was discussed. She has some ideas what might be the problem. 

Began riding my bike and walking regularly again. 

So now were are awaiting blood and stool test results. For now, I will keep with the 28 days elimination diet. I have to admit, today I feel so much better.  My next Dr’s appointment is first week of November, so sticking with the diet until then.

I even found ways to satisfy my needs for sweets! see the video

Here’s the real news

The side benefit of wanting to feel better and anyone would be excited about this… in ten days my scale was 12 pounds lighter, now solidly 15 pounds. Now I am not thinking I lost pounds of fat.  Water weight, inflammation, I do not know.  My stomach is not a distended.

Happy when I saw the video of me working - it looks like and I feel me!

So back to my man - who thinks he is Johnny Carson or something

He will place my salad order at our favorite take out restaurant requesting no tomatoes and no dressing with extra cucumbers, grilled shrimp or lobster. I know he sees that I feel better. He tells me he loves me. I think he misses me eating with him but is quite happy I am even talking to him!

Not sure he even notices that my body is changing but he knows I am happy. So we will see what the future holds.