During my freshman year of college, took a photography class. Within weeks, had a job at a local bi-weekly newspaper - a photo journalist. The pay was terrible, hardly gas money, but the position put me in the darkroom and had me photographing people!
During high school, took every art and graphic course offered. There was so much I wanted to be and do — a flight attendant, a fashion model, a photographer, a new reporter, physical therapist, a professional athlete.
Briefly, while in college, tried looking to New York as a photographer, it scared me. More than that, had me feeling as if I was not enough, good enough. University was challenging, not enough money, housing impossible and only a few courses interested me. So I got married and began photographing weddings for family members. Continued working, hired by couples with a limited small budget, became a mother and focused of photographing family and babies. Studied, non academically, learning to be a portrait photographer. Took courses on studio lighting, portraiture, went to museums and studying the works in galleries. My goal was to make a living.
My business grew in four decades into a gallery, frame shop and studio walking distance to the beach where I photographed families at sunset. Clients were the focus; making them look and feel good was my job. Using the best material I could find, people were attracted to my work although often they needed to understand the need to use acid free materials in framing.
I always continued learning; completing my undergraduate degree slowing a class at a time graduating from Monmouth University ( 27 years from start to finish). Education gave an ability to see the world and understand it in new ways. I even understood the need for western civilization studies. During this time, family members criticized and judged harshly about my schooling, with “should’s” they thought about me not going to school and saving for my children’s. I am so very proud of earning that degree and also for helping my three childen all graduate college in 4 years.
My life was changing, The children grew up, marriage ended, and the emotional upheaval trying to help an aging parent, what happened to her money and sibling betrayal. My focus on family portraiture began shifting, at first gradually.
Superstorm Sandy devastated my studio, livelihood and flooded my home in 2012. We cleaned and rebuilt. I began photographing underwater after the storm because being in the water helped me feel alive. First I began seeing the pictures, then needing to figure out how to make them. This was creating without feeling the need to please anyone else.
When the Covid pandemic hit, knowing the difficulties of the store front studio would have, decided it was time to close up shop. When the country reopened, knowing how to market family portraits, had the best summer season ever. This help fund the shift in art making.
I was different. Part of me, needed to make art differently.
Maybe it was the storm, maybe it was the ability to come back from disaster, maybe it is the knowing heartbreak and challenges. Maybe it was my youngest child growing up and needing me differently. My goal was no longer just about the business of making a living, helping people feel confident during photo shoots and happy with their portraits. I had something to say in my work.
No longer afraid of what and who I am as an artist and photographer.
There was a playfulness, an ability and expansion happening. I am enough, and so is my work. Colors, media and the expression was no longer about pleasing others. I had learnt to craft beautifully over the years using the best papers, enhancements, materials for my finished portraits. Often mistakes and clients taught me.
In 2022 began to show - few local and one big show. In a huge pavilion with many galleries, major historic works were available for sale in the same Hamptons Fine Art Show as my own work! The path as an artist is fluid; try this and that. Accepted to some shows, rejected from others. Turned down by galleries, but it is different than the rejection the younger me experienced. I have an understanding that my work or that gallery might not be the right fit.
A few shows planned for 2023. For one solo show, the curator was ask, via email, what price point did she expent. The response of “the lower the better,” stunned me at first. Artist in general, often sell below cost especially when they are young and starting out.
At first thought was I need to change, follow her advise that clients do not care about framing and use cheap one. But I know better, those frames fall apart. The supplies from papers, oils, paints, wood panels, mat boards, cold wax and framing has always been about using what I know works best.
The decades of working in the art taught me something important, to work and live as a full time artist sustainably I must make a living from my work.
I understood is my art should be presented the way I think is best crafted with the material I think best. This is truly what drew her to my show my work.
I live in New Jersey, have a home, a cost of living. These require a money or a salary. I want my work to fund my work not to have another source of income fund it. The cost of producing work and running an arts business need to be covered. To price my work, everything has to be considered. My work has to thought of like a product in a successful business. A lawyers’ product is knowledge of the law, they charge for their time and artist needs to think in the same way with their value.
Clients may need to be educated with the benefits for them that acid free materials used prevent yellowing and museum glass is the best, nearly invisible, blocking UV light rays so framed pieces remain clearer for longer. Framing and presentation are not all the same and these affect art work.
So back to becoming an artist, I have always been an artist. To show my work and to sell art, it must also be a business. Businesses take advise, cost and use these to consider what is best for the business. The decisions are the businesses. In becoming an artist, it is also becoming so much more. It is trusting yourself.
